Relationship

Why Facebook Is Both Good and Bad for Your Breakup

 

Facebook can be a great way to stay in touch, but that same ease of info-sharing can be painful right after a breakup. Here's how social media can help you bounce back.

One of the first things I asked when my ex, AKA "Birthday Boy", brought up not being in a relationship anymore was, "When do we change our status?" Facebook status, that is.
I have come to see a pattern with break-ups on Facebook. Most people take these four actions upon calling it quits with their honey.
1. Status Change
The obvious: you change your status from 'in a relationship' to 'single.' Now if you want to avoid the questions and broken heart newsfeed alert, you can do what I did and hide your relationship status first, then change it to 'single.' That way, not every one of your 600 friends needs to get that sad broken heart status in their newsfeed. BB didn't hide his and a variety of girls posted on his wall offering their comfort and warm bodies… ugh. Irked me a bit, but not my worry anymore.
2. De-Tagging
Depending on how broken your heart is, you may want to detag yourself from photos of you and your ex. I would equate this to cutting him out of photographs of you both together. The exception to this rule is if you happen to look really amazing in a photo. Then you can leave as-is or save to your desktop for yourself. Or you can crop him out when you add it to your Glamour Matchmaker profile!
3. Increased Status Updates
I've noticed, and I'm guilty of it too, that when a person is newly single they tend to update their status on Facebook a lot. We want the world to know we're out and about, having a great time and looking to socialize. Sometimes people just use the posts to vent about their newly broken heart, which is sort of depressing, but other people use it to engage their friends and re-ignite old friendships they may have lost while devoted to their significant other. In this case, I think Facebook is a positive. Sometimes I catch myself with my cell phone in one hand, wanting to text an ex about something cool I just witnessed, and instead of contacting a former lover, I post on Facebook so my friends can comment. Crisis averted!

4. Defriending
If you are going to be one of those people who checks his profile constantly, gets a hole in your heart every time you see a girl post on his wall and cries when he puts up a new photo, you are a great candidate for hitting that fabulous defriend button on the bottom left of the page. Sometimes it's hard because you're admitting it's time to move on, but in the long run it makes things a lot easier. I've been hovering near the button the last few days, seeing if I really have the willpower to not check his profile page. It usually happens late at night when I'm bored. If I can't control the urges it's off to defriend land for our poor friend BB.